It's a Jew Thing

A Little Wrap-up....

2005-11-21T23:31:00.000-05:00

This is officially my last blog post for BUAD477... I am happy to say however that is isn’t my last post ever. I plan to keep up with the blog because of all the positive response and interest I have received over this semester. Thank you all so much for it!! I really appreciate all of your interest and the open-mindedness to learn about something new and ask questions, especially something that is so important to me. Please feel free to keep asking questions and checking back so I know what to keep writing about. My posts might not be as frequent but they will definitely be coming, especially if someone is asking questions about something.

Next, thanks to everyone for your comments along the way. They have constantly made me smile. Matt – thanks for your last comment. I remember you telling me a while back about your Israel trip and I think that taking a trip that includes learning about the troubling history of Jews in Europe (especially during World War II) is an amazing and meaningful opportunity as well.

In regards to your question about a career involving Judaism, I have actually thought a lot about it over the years so it’s really interesting that you should ask. As I have said before, I did staff a summer trip for USY and the organization has been a very meaningful part of my life, especially the bonds I have formed with so many kids over my years of working for NERUSY, so I have thought a fair amount about working for them in some way. It is so meaningful to impact these youth teens’ lives and to help them feel more comfortable with their Judaism and with themselves, as I was made to feel comfortable. I know it is going to sound really weird since I have been spending this entire semester sharing knowledge, but there are actually a lot of things I don’t know and a lot of things in terms of Jewish education that I would not be capable of. Also, it is just hard because my career goals in business are so different from my religious involvement. Should there ever come a time where I had an opportunity to incorporate the two, especially if it involved teenagers, I would definitely want to take advantage of it. Also, depending where the road leads me next year, I hope to find a way that I can balance my job with a job working for a local USY chapter (assuming there is a chapter near where I am).

Ok, well that is it for now. But like I said, please keep checking back for more from my crazy Jewish life and please keep commenting so I know if I should keep writing.

International's coming!!!

2005-11-21T22:21:00.000-05:00

As of this evening it is official, before I pack my bags for my study abroad trip in Europe, I will pack my bags for a Holiday Inn in New Jersey and then for the Marriott in Downtown Philadelphia. That is because I will be staffing USY International Convention, as a staff member for NERUSY for the third year in a row, and it will be my fifth time attending total (I also attended as a member twice when I was in high school). Every year the convention consists of a four day pre-convention, with just the members from the New England Region USY (NERUSY) attending, then the “real” convention for five days. The convention is the one time a year when members from all 17 of the regions in the United States and Canada coming together to meet each other, make friends, take educational classes, help the community, and have fun. It is pretty insane since there are usually around 1350 people there, including staff. But it’s so spirited and fun. Having gone as a USY member I know that you really get to make friends from around the country and they are always in the nicest hotels.

My first IC (short for International Convention) was actually in Boston and that’s why I got to go – it was very inexpensive since it was right near my house and so there were no travel fees. After that, my senior year of high school I went to IC in Washington, DC and it was actually at the hotel where my parents had first met about 30 years before when they were at International Convention there (cute, I know). After that I had to miss a year because people in their freshman year of college are too old to go as members and are not old enough to go as staff members. Unfortunately that means I missed the amazing chance to spend nine days in Orlando, Florida, and since then it’s been in a “cold place” every year. But I have been there and have been really lucky to be a staff member (especially because I get these nine days for free and I get to spend time with the kids I love). So my first year as a staff member NERUSY enjoyed pre-convention in Montreal and then actual convention in Toronto (trust me it was pretty cold), then last year it was to Chicago for pre-convention and for IC.

So this year, I have just found out today I will again be a staff member accompanying NERUSY and I am extremely excited because, as you all know, it is “my girls’” senior year and therefore their last IC. This year NERUSY is spending pre-convention touring New York City but is actually staying at a hotel in New Jersey. Then we’ll move to downtown Philadelphia for five days of greatness and I am SUPER excited so I just had to share it with everyone!!

2005-11-14T10:31:00.000-05:00

It was suggested that for my next post I write about the differences between when I lived at home and now that I live on my own, in terms of my Jewish practices. So what I could really think of was three big differences, which are as follows:

1. Keeping Kosher - Away at school I pretty much keep Kosher the same that I did at home with a few small differences. Since all of my roommates obviously don't keep Kosher I don't live in a strictly "Kosher Home" and the oven and such isn't Kosher because non-Kosher items are cooked there. But what I can do at home is good enough for me because it is the best option that I have available at this point in my life. Also, since it isn't a "Kosher home" if I go out to dinner and have leftovers I can bring them home and eat them later. At my regular house I can't do that because it would be bringing non-Kosher food into a strictly Kosher home. That might sound a little confusing but I can't really figure out how to explain it better than that.

2. Riding on Shabbat - As I explained in a previous post, my family does not ride in a car on Shabbat as part of our practice. Away at school I have pretty much stopped this practice. I don't for the most part understand why it was my family’s practice, which is probably part of the reason why I stopped doing it at school. Of course when I am at home I still follow my family’s practice of not riding on Shabbat.

3. Going to Services - At home I didn't go to services every Shabbat after I graduated from Hebrew School (which is when I stopped having to go) but I still went from time to time for Shabbat services, especially if there was a special event going on at the synagogue. And I would go to services on all of the Jewish Holidays... I didn't go to school on any of those days and I pretty much had to go to services, not that I minded at all. But here at school I never had a chance to really feel part of the Jewish community and I have really never felt comfortable at any of the services offered on campus. So, unfortunately, I never because as involved in Judaism on campus as I'd always hoped to in high school. I don't really go to services ever and I always try to go home or away from school for Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Passover so I can observe the holidays in a place I feel a little more comfortable. It's a little to late to worry about that now though, since I am coming to the end of my time at Delaware and will soon move onto another stage of my life where I will have to again redefine the way I practice.

I think that's it for this time. My next post might be my last within the class period so if there is anything else you are really dieing to know about please let me know so I can write about it.

A little more about Israel.

2005-10-31T20:54:00.000-05:00

This post comes partly as a response to Carah's post and partly in response to Kristen's questions.

First off in response to Kristen's question about safety in Israel.... Israel isn't safe at times but you just have to be smart about the places you go and the way you travel. For example, we weren't allowed to travel in Arab owed taxi's or on public buses (we only used charter buses), and we weren't allowed in most open malls. Also, we traveled with an army guard when on fieldtrips and there was a guarded gate at the school. I mean, in Israel they have to worry a lot about terrorist attacks, but they also worry a lot less about the kind of murders and gang violence, things like that we worry about in the US. There was one time that really shook me up, when there was a terrorist attack near a mall where our bus had loaded the week before, but we were happy we weren't there and we were safe. In the last 5 years since being in Israel, there have actually been a few terrorist attacks at places I have been in the past, like a club a lot of kids from the trip went to and in a pizza place we had eaten. That really shook me. But you also have to think that there are times when there have been car accidents in a place you have driven or something. It’s all relative to the place you’re from, I guess.

Carah - I agree that the Kotel was one of the most moving places that we visited. I didn't expect to feel so emotionally effected when we visited but I actually cried the first time that we went there because I immediately realized that millions of people had prayed there before me and that it is such a central part of our religion and a place that so many people talk about going to when they get to Israel. I also thought about how when I was younger and went to summer camp the Israeli counselors used to collect our "wishes" and tell us they'd bring them to the wall as it's traditional to do when you are there. When I got there I was moved to see the thousands and thousands of tiny folded pieces of paper and to know that my wishes were somewhere among the hopes and dreams of so many people. Below is a picture from above the Kotel (which of those of you who may not know is the Western Wall and is the only remaining section of the ancient temple, and is such the holiest place for the Jewish religion.

We also had the opportunity to visit the tunnels below the Western Wall which had just opened and were beginning to be excavated which was amazing to see because it's a section even closer to where the Temple Mount was and people had begun leaving letters to G-d there also.

I think it's hard to tell educationally where I enjoyed visiting the most, but I think that climbing Masada is one of my most amazing memories I have. We climbed up “the hard path” before sunrise and it started drizzling as we neared the top. It was seriously one of the hardest hikes I have ever done and I came close to not being able to make it – but we completed it as a group and when we reached the top we davened (prayed) the morning service in the oldest known Beit Knesset (place of worship) in the world. Below is a picture of us getting ready for services that morning:

We then climbed to the top of the viewing tower to see the beautiful land around us. To one side we saw the hike we had just conquered; to another side we could see land for miles and miles and then see it disappear into the Dead Sea. And as we looked into the sky we saw a full rainbow taking over the sky, from one side of the horizon all the way to the other. It was breathtaking. After that morning we traveled around the mountain top and looked at the remnants and an ancient people that were so close to each of our hearts at that moment. So close in fact that we put ourselves in their place and imagines that we were the ancient Jewish people who had been held up as the last people to evade capture and destruction of the Jewish community in Israel. We discussed, for four hours, their decision to commit suicide as an entire community rather than be taken capture and tortured then murdered. We took sides and debated. On that day, one of my favorite days in Israel we sat on the same ground as thousands of visitors had done before and contemplated history while viewing a beautiful landscape.

Israel

2005-10-29T14:15:00.000-04:00

How many times have you heard a Jewish person say how important it is to go to Israel, and how it is our homeland and everyone must visit. I mean, wasn’t Birthright, this amazing free trip for Jewish college students, created for that reason? It is all true. But reading it, hearing about it, or thinking it is literally nothing compared to experiencing it. And I didn’t want to experience it as most Americans do, as a tourist. I wanted to experience it as part of it. That’s why for one quarter of my junior in high school I enrolled in the USY High (a program run nationally by my youth group) which meets at the Alexander Muss High School in Israel, an American run school in Israel. In the small town of Hod Hasharon, outside Tel Aviv, I was able to feel part of Israel while learning everything about it.

Basically, you take classes Sunday-Friday mornings and learn in a classroom everything that there is to know about Israeli and Jewish history, studying from Biblical times to the present day struggles of the modern state of Israel. Included in this would be 1 or 2 days a week having a tiyul (fieldtrip) where we’d visit sights of importance to what we were learning. So we visited all the sites that “tourists” visit but also so many more places that were so important to us because we visited them knowing all of the history behind them. There was even a guy on our trip who had previously gone on a tourist visit to Israel and told us at one point that sites we visited at more significance to him now because on his first trip they’d just get off the bus visiting places as they fell in geographic convenience and didn’t really know what the place meant. I remember on that day feeling really happy that I’d made the decision to visit Israel in this way.

Below is a picture from one of our fieldtrips, when we learning about Jews moving to Palestine around the time of World War 2. Basically the English were still in command of the land and didn't open it up to Jews to move there to escape the war, so they snuck in. So Jews in Palestine would run out into the water when a ship of Jews trying to enter Israel was approaching, switch clothing with them, and then carry them to land. This was their way of trying to confuse the English as to which people were legally allowed to be there or not (and it worked for a while). This is a picture of the group similating how Jews in Palestine carried those trying to enter to shore, and we had this lesson on the very beaches that they used 60 years ago.

You might be asking what I did about my regular school since I got to Israel in February. Basically, you have 1-on-1 tutoring in up to 3 classes from your regular high school and some high schools gave students credit for things like history and English to accord for the core class we were taking in Israel. Also, you live in a dorm, much like college. I was in Friedman dorm with all of the other USY High kids (the students in the other 2 dorms didn’t enroll through USY and were traditionally less observant). The dorm was two floors and had two common areas and a kitchenette area, as well as a madrich and a madricha (a male and a female RA). Each room had three or four people living in it, and it had a bedroom and a room with desks. We did have curfew and a time by which the door to the dorm was locked and alarmed, but we had a lot of freedom. In the afternoons we could go into Hod Hasharon and shop or have lunch, things like that. It was really cool to feel like you were part of a town, because you were living there, not just visiting for a few days.

My trip to Israel really changed me as a person and it made Israel a large part of my heart. It has been almost 5 years since I have been to Israel and I still think about memories of my trip, and I still wish I could go back to support the country that means so much to me. And I think that maybe for my next trip I’ll be a little more laid back, and go as an educated tourist.

Sidenote: what else would you like to hear about?? Please leave a comment to tell me what my next post should be about. THANKS!!

USY

2005-10-15T22:23:00.000-04:00

So when I was younger and people told me there was a church youth group it seemed to be for mostly "losers" and it was just kids from their church doing things. Jewish youth groups are very different. I think most practicing Jewish kids grow up in a youth group because it serves a different purpose - for most Jewish kids they don't grow up going to schools that are very Jewish and youth groups are a way for them to meet other Jewish teens and to form a connection with them and in turn with their religion. Most of these youth groups are national so you have the opportunity to meet kids from everywhere, not just your synagogue.

For me that youth group was USY, United Synagogue Youth, and it defined and created a lot of the person that I am. If Judaism set me apart in school, it helped me find “popularity” and amazing friends in USY. The youth group was both religous activities, social activities, and events that were a mix of the two. My synagogue didn’t have a strong chapter (meaning we didn’t have a lot of active members or do that much programming), but my regional organization changed my life. The region was comprised of Jewish teens from all over New England (Senior USY being high school students and Junior USY being 7th and 8th graders), and NERUSY was one of 17 regions in the United States and Canada that made up the national USY organization (NERUSY stands for New England Region USY).

USY gave me several things. To begin with, it was the first place I felt like Jewish kids could be “cool” and I could really be friends with them outside of Hebrew School. Most of my best friends in high school were from USY because we understood each other and had so many similarities in life experiences and general interests. USY was also one of the first times (besides summer camp) that I really had the opportunity to learn from the experiences of other teens like myself who had to blend their religious and non-Jewish lives together. I also got to learn more about my religion from people way more knowledgeable than myself. I was able to become a leader, serving as chapter president, New England Regional Senior Programming chair (so I planned events for seniors in high school and a big senior convention), New England Regional Encampment co-chair (planning a week long summer camp for everyone in NERUSY), and serve as committee chair for the National USY Convention when it was held in Boston my junior year of high school. Most of all, USY taught me how to be myself by teaching me who I really was.

After high school I have continued being involved with the organization that I think is so important in shaping youth Jewish lives. For the last two years I have staffed the National USY Convention for a week in December. For the past three summers I have adjusted by role as Encampment Co-chair and become the Assistant Director of NERUSY’s Encampment program. This is something extremely important to me because I love getting to plan every aspect of such an amazing religious and social week-long event, and over the past four years that I have worked on camp we have seen the numbers and program reviews increase. Lastly, in the summer before junior year of college I had the opportunity to staff USY on Wheels, which is a summer program run nationally by USY. I took 38 juniors and seniors in high school from all over the country across the United States and Canada, by bus, for six and a half weeks. It was an amazing and intense experience where I learned just as much as they did. The main point of the trip is to see the country and all it’s sights while becoming a family with strangers (which REALLY happens), while also learning that you can either find Judaism anywhere or create it by maintaining your traditions (there is really a lot longer of an explanation but that’s good for now). Below is just one of the hundreds of pictures I have of that summer. It's a picture of the group outside Cereal City, a tour for Kellogg's factory where we also learned about how their products are Kosher.

So even though it sounded in previous posts like being Jewish was really hard, USY is an extremely important part of my life that has shaped me in so many ways. And it’s something that I would have never been able to be a part of had it not been for my family’s strong religious identity. (By the way- my parents both grew up in USY and even met at a National USY convention.)

Comment Reply

2005-10-04T23:13:00.000-04:00

Hi All-
Just a quick response to a couple of my comments.

In terms of if I’ve ever wanted to the "rebel" and become less religious... I have really never wanted to become less religious, with the exception of the fact that I ride on Shabbat and my parent's don't. But yes, I did go through my little "rebellious" state which is actually quite funny since it isn't very rebellious at all... once at summer camp in like the 7th grade my friend and I got a staff member to get us a pepperoni pizza. I don’t know if it was the best thing ever because the pizza place was great, because we were so used to eating awful camp food, or because it was rebelling but that pizza was REALLY good. Don’t try to tempt me now though; I’m over the whole pepperoni craving.

To answer Kara’s two questions: I write G-d instead of writing out the whole word because there is something in the Torah that says you shouldn’t take G-d’s name in vain and that you should never write or say in unless its in prayer, and several other notes about the do’s and don’ts. There is actually a lot of debate about if the non-Hebrew writing of the word should be included but it’s just something I’ve always done. In terms of alcohol, with the exception of Passover (when you can’t have anything with yeast, i.e. beer), any kind of alcohol pretty much goes, except for ceremonies. For prayers and ceremonies and the like the wine you use must be Kosher, and it’s marked the same way that Kosher food is. And it is more than just Manishevitz. But, for example, my mom will say Kiddish (the blessing over the wine) with Kosher wine and then switch over to regular wine, that’s perfectly fine (good question though).

Lastly, next week’s post well start going into why I have really loved being Jewish and my experiences so the answers to all those questions are coming. Thanks!!

L'Shanah Tovah!

2005-10-04T22:48:00.000-04:00

Translation? Happy New Year! Well literally it means “for a good year” which is shortened from the whole greeting L'shanah tovah tikatev v'taihatemt, “may you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.” Right now I am at home in Boston with my family for Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. It began Monday night at sundown and will end Wednesday night at sundown. The reason for the sundown stuff is because that’s how Jewish days work. The Hebrew calendar is a lunar calendar and new day starts at nightfall (which is the same reason why Shabbat is from Friday night at sundown Saturday night).

Although I have seemed like the be-all in Jewish knowledge to this point, I will forewarn you all that my explanation may be splotchy so I invite you to ask questions. The Hebrew calendar has now begun a new year, with Rosh Hashanah literally meaning “the first of the year.” It is one of the holiest days of the year and marks a new beginning, a clean slate for the New Year. For this reason, white is a sort of symbolic color for the holiday. The clergy (Rabbi and Cantor) wear white robes (they don’t usually wear robes at all) and the Torah scrolls are dressed in white (as apposed to the usual colored coverings). The white symbolizes purity and reminds us of G-d’s promise that our sins shall be made as white as snow.

Rosh Hashanah begins the 10 Days of Repentance, leaving up to Yom Kippur, the absolute holiest day of the Jewish year. During this time it is traditional for Jews around the world to ask those around them for forgiveness for anything that they have done during the year that has caused hate or sadness to other people. I was always taught that you can’t just go and ask G-d for forgiveness because you committed the “sin” against other people. You are supposed to ask the person for forgiveness and if they say no ask again, only after they do not forgive you and you have given wholehearted effort can you then ask G-d for forgiveness instead. It is really not uncommon this time of year for me to get an email from friends stating something similar to what I offer you now: If I have done anything to hurt, upset or harm you in the past year, I ask you forgiveness and tell you that I strive to be a better person in the coming year. Since you are supposed to ask for forgiveness in the days leading to Yom Kippur, which literally means “The Day of Atonement” on that day your “fate” for the coming year is sealed in the book of life and happiness for the coming year (which is where the greeting that I opened this post with comes from). Even people who usually don’t attend services go on the High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

Yom Kippur is pretty much the strictest amount strict days and it is one day that I take very seriously. Part of this day (which this year falls October 13th) is a 25 hour fast from all food and drink for all those in physical health to fast and those over the age of 13. Also, you are supposed to reframe from all work (like “Shomar Shabbat” like I described in the previous post). I do follow this practice on Yom Kippur even though I don’t during the rest of the year. On Yom Kippur I won’t ride in a car or use electricity. Even “weirder” is that on Yom Kippur you aren’t supposed to bath (relax guys its only 24 hours), anoint oneself (like by wear fragrances and perfume) or wear any leather. These are all things I fallow because to me this is the most important day on the Jewish calendar. When I am at home we pretty much stay in temple most of the day but since I will be at school this year I am not positive what I am going to be doing.

Even though this post is amazingly long already (as usual) I am just going to leave you with a couple more traditional things I have been doing since it’s Rosh Hashanah. First off there is the blowing of the Shofar, the ram’s horn (which is the animal sent for Abraham to sacrifice instead of his son Isaac), which is pictured below.

(ps this isn't a picture of my dad or anything, I just found it online haha). Although the bible doesn’t exactly say why we blow the Shofar is blown on both days of Rosh Hashanah for 100 “notes” and to end Yom Kippur and it is traditional said it was used to gather people together in the olden days so they’d know it was time to gather and repent. Next there is the tradition of Tashlikh (“casting off”), which I have myself done only twice. It involves a symbolic casting of our sins into a moving body of water (like that little river just past Ray Street down North College; I did it there two years ago), usually done with bread crumbs. Lastly is the tradition of apples and honey. This is to symbolize the sweetness of the holiday and the sweetness to come with the new years.

Alright, that’s all I have for now and I appreciate you reading all the way through. L’Shanah Tovah everyone!!

The Prom

2005-09-30T21:29:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking a lot about what to write in this post. I have decided to leave an explanation of the upcoming holidays (Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur) until next week's post, so this week I am just going to recap some random memories and feelings that I had growing up... also included is the “prom story” which I know so many of you have been waiting for.

To start with, I have told you all before that I felt left out of things because of my family’s observance. The “minor” things were things like not being able to buy school lunch because it wasn’t Kosher, especially on “Pepperoni Pizza Friday” in elementary school and on D’Angelos sub days in junior high and high school. And never being able to go to McDonald’s for a Happy Meal with a toy. Those things I could deal with... it was the feeling of being left out that was worse.

Growing up I had to go to Hebrew School at what felt like all the worst times. It was two afternoons a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays and then Mondays and Wednesdays when I was older) and every Saturday night (in high school it was a little easier because it was just Monday nights). Because of this I pretty much had to leave right after school to go, so I couldn’t stay after school on those days for activities. Also, I used to play softball at night in the city league. It was pretty much the only sport there was when I was in elementary school that didn’t meet right after school when I had Hebrew School and which didn’t require me to be there on Saturdays (when my family didn’t drive and when I had to be at temple for Hebrew School and services). I wasn’t much good, but I really liked being involved with something outside of school that my friends were on.... but then that ended. I really remember it as one of the most upsetting experiences of my childhood, and the first time I ever felt upset about being Jewish. Looking back, it probably wasn’t as bad as I thought, but it was pretty traumatizing. I must have been in like the 5th or 6th grade and I had a softball game. The game’s started at 5:30 but I had Hebrew School until 5:30 and then I needed to get dressed and have a quick dinner. This wasn’t an uncommon story. To my parents, it was inexcusable to leave Hebrew School early for something like this, even though my friends always did for games and dance practice and the like. So, I finally got to the game about 5:45, with my little sandwich for dinner, and the coach benched me. He told me that I was always late and it wasn’t fair for me to get right in the game when everyone else was there on time (which was really like 5:00 to “warm up”). I cried. I cried a lot. Then I screamed at him. And I left, and I never played softball again. Pretty upsetting experience, huh? There are so many more like it, so many more times when I felt left out. So many times when I asked my parents why I couldn’t do things that my friends at school could do. There were even many times that I didn’t understand why my Jewish friends could do things that I couldn’t (it was because they weren’t as observant).

Over the years I missed many things. Some harder to miss than others... birthday parties (including the “coolest party of the year” in 7th grade which was a limo ride to the Hard Rock Café in Boston on a Saturday afternoon), school activities (like I could never be in the drama club because the shows were on Friday nights), and I still to this day have never been to one of my high school football games because they all are on Fridays nights or Saturday afternoons. (As I’ve said before, there are some good things that I got because I was Jewish that are coming in future posts, so don’t get discouraged!)

There were a lot of Friday night’s left sitting at home, and that was really something hard for me as a teenager. I felt that it made me an outcast in school and especially in high school. People just stopped inviting me places because most of the time I couldn’t go. Then suddenly, for some reason that I still don’t know, junior year of high school half the people that had always thought I was “weird” started being my friend. It was like suddenly, overnight everyone matured and realized that I was still a great person and friend even though I couldn’t go out with them on Friday night. I think of it as my “peak” of popularity and it really was. I had never been so happy or had so many friends in my life.

Then it was time to start planning the prom, which I was on the committee for and one of my best friends was the head of. That’s when it started to fall apart. See, the junior prom is ALWAYS at the exact same place on a Friday night. Months and months in advance my dad wrote me a letter about my observance and I went to the principal’s office to ask if there was any way to make the prom on a Saturday night this year and tell him how important it was to me to go. He explained (which I was an idiot because I had no idea at the time about this sort of thing) that the hall had already been booked for a year. I thought it was over, no junior prom for me... I’d learned to live with disappointment. Then the rumors started... and my “dream year” slipped away a little bit. How it started I have no idea, but for the record my dad never had any thought or mention of suing the Brockton School Department for discrimination against Jewish people... he never even called the principal and yelled at him (as a smaller rumor also claimed). That’s right, I was known around school as the girl whose dad was trying to cancel the prom and ruin their junior year, again because I was Jewish and my beliefs were different. By the time the prom got closer, the rumors dead away and the story has a happy ending. I got permission to stay at the hotel attached to the prom location, which was off limits to students, under the condition that my mom stay there with me. So that was a compromise I was willing to make – I went to the prom and had an amazing time, more than I could have ever hoped for. Then afterwards, I told all my friends to have fun and walked to my hotel room where my mom was waiting. Not ideal but ok (I still got to go out after the senior prom, because that was on a Wednesday night), I still got to go to the prom and I really appreciated my mom for agreeing to stay in that hotel with me because she knew how important the prom was to me.

Last note- hotel checkout was at 1pm and since we couldn’t ride in the car on Saturday until after sundown, my mom and I were stuck sitting in the lobby until then. Just so happens that the hotel conference room was having auditions that afternoon for Unsolved Mysteries. Let’s just say we met some interesting characters that afternoon. Thanks for reading this super long post, more next week.

2005-09-24T23:02:00.000-04:00

Just a note that if you comment on my blog please review the comment section later because I have been replying to the comments there. THANKS!

2005-09-18T18:13:00.000-04:00

I am so glad that so many people have begun replying to my blog and I am really happy to answer any questions anyone has. I have pretty much grown up my whole life with people asking questions. I really appreciate it honestly because it shows me that people want to be knowledgeable and care about things that are different from what they are used to. Since it’s one of the most asked questions I think people have about Judaism, I am going to try to explain Kashrut (keeping Kosher) as much as I can. All of the things that tell how and why to keep Kosher were all told to the Jewish people when we got the Torah back in the olden days (i.e. in the dessert thousands and thousands of years ago). To begin with, people who keep Kosher only eat Kosher meat. When it comes to animals like beef and chicken, the meat is considered Kosher because it is killed in a certain way (injected in a vain so the animal dies with no pain and no bloodshed), all blood is drained from the animal, and it is watched over by a special Rabbi (it’s literally this guys’ job to supervise the killing and preparation of animals all day). Food that is Kosher (especially meat) is marked with a Kosher symbol, which you might have noticed before. There are a lot of them- like a U with a 0 around it, or a K in a triangle or circle. So that means that I can’t really go into the grocery store deli and get meat because that meat wouldn’t be Kosher. At home my family gets our meat from a Kosher butcher a few towns away; here I can’t really find that much meat so I don’t eat it that often. So, at a normal restaurant there isn’t Kosher meat (it’s more expensive and it is really hard to keep everything Kosher), so I can’t go out to dinner and have meat. My family (although not all families that keep Kosher) will go out to eat at a non-Kosher restaurant and eat non-meat products, but we won't bring them home into our house.

Additionally, there are certain meats which you can just never eat because the bible says that animals with split hooves are “unclean” as are animal that are scavenges. That’s right folks, that means that pork, bacon, or other pig products; as well as no shellfish like shrimp, lobster, or crabs. Yes, sometimes I wish I could have them and I have always been kind of curious about what lobster tastes like (especially living near the Cape with so many seafood restaurants around). People who keep Kosher also do not mix meat (including chicken) and milk products (meaning no cheeseburger, no chicken with a glass of milk, and no steak with ice cream for dessert). This is the confusing part- if eat meat you must wait before then having a milk product (some people wait 2 hours, some 3, some 4) BUT you don’t have to wait to eat meat after eating dairy. The reason for this practice as a whole is because in the olden days, in the dessert, people didn’t have much water so they boiled their animals in milk, and it was considered the worst sin in the world to boil a kid (a baby cow) in its mother’s milk... and that’s where we get this practice from. Picture my parents’ house now- we have meat dishes, dairy dishes, meat china, dairy china, and 3 sets of dishes for Passover (which I’ll explain at another time). Get’s expensive, huh? At least at your wedding you can pick a lot to register for! At my own house in Delaware I can’t really keep Kosher as much as at home because my roommates are obviously eating non-Kosher foods but I keep it as much as I can. I have two sets of dishes and pots/pans and I use paper plates a lot.

I guess that’s pretty much it. To recap: no meat with milk, buy food that’s marked Kosher, no pig products or shellfish, only eat Kosher meat. Yup you’re a pro. It’s pretty confusing I think and I may have skimmed over some stuff because it’s like second nature to me, so let me know if you have any questions about it all.

2005-09-15T04:38:00.000-04:00

It's hard to even know where to start talking about my life as an observant Jew because there are so many different aspects, rules, and ideas. I'll try to start with the basics...Judaism as a religion has many different divisions and ways of practicing, which comes down to how observant you are in your practices (it's important to note that observance and religiousness are not the same thing because you can be very religious and G-d can be very important to you even if you aren't observant). The three main levels of observance are Reform, Conservative, and Orthodox Judaism, and the lines aren't very defined. Reform is the least observant and many people who consider themselves Reform do not keep Kosher, go to services all the time, or observe all the holidays and traditions. Orthodoxy is the opposite extreme in which people keep strict Kosher, observe all holidays to the largest extent possible, and incorporate Jewish law into every aspect of their lives. For example, the practice of being "Shomar Shabbat" (which some Conservative people are as well) means that on Shabbat and religious holidays one doesn't work at all. This includes not using electricity, riding in a car, writing, lighting a candle, or using money (all of these things have different explanations, some of which I don't know and some of which are just really long to explain). This probably sounds really weird to non-Jews and even to some Jews, but it's an important part of many people's lives. Between these two concepts falls Conservative Judaism, which is my practice, and which covers a large blurred area.

Growing up, my family was observant. Growing up we went to services almost every Shabbat and on every holiday (including staying out of school to go to services on holidays), kept Kosher, and observed many Jewish laws. Additionally, my father became a Cantor (a clergy member in our synagogue) when I was 10 years old and my grandfather has been a Cantor my whole life. My family is not Shomar Shabbat but we did not do many things that were considered “work.” Shabbat is from sundown on Friday night until sundown on Saturday night (the Jewish calendar days go from sundown to sundown). So on these days EVERY WEEKEND (as well as during Jewish Holidays), my family doesn’t ride in a car (start a car, sit in a car, be a passenger in a car, take the bus, etc. I say this because often people ask if my friends couldn’t just pick me up and drive), use money, light a match, or do some kinds of work like laundry. Also, my parents won’t do any kind of work for their jobs on Shabbat.

Try imagining never being able to go to a Friday night football game in high school, to the mall with your friends on a Saturday afternoon, or even to your friend’s birthday party when you are 9 years old. To make things even harder, there were hardly any other Jewish kids in my city and most of the kids from my synagogue were from surrounding towns, went to other schools, and came from families that didn’t have practices as observant as my family does. Like I said, the lines of Conservative Judaism are very much blurred, so they could consider themselves conservative but do all the things I wished I could do on a Saturday afternoon. Growing up this was really hard for me to understand. This is what I grew up with. As I’ll tell in later posts, I don’t want it to sound like I had an awful childhood. My religion is a very important part of my life and has helped to shape my life in so many positive ways. It’s just a fact that part of the way that my life has been shaped is as a result of my feeling like I missed out on so many things when I was younger.

I think that’s enough take in for one post. I’ll write again soon to continue to explain everything. Please feel free to leave questions in the comment section to help tell me what else I should be talking about on this blog.

2005-09-10T00:08:00.000-04:00

So the blog title needs some work but it was the best title my roommates and I could come up with ("Kosher, what what" was the close second). I am going to use this space to write about my experiences growing up as an observant Jew, especially in a city where there weren't any other Jews. I get asked questions all the time about what Jewish people believe and practice and what I think, so my friend suggested this would be a good way to get it all out there - answer some of my most asked questions and share some experiences.

My entire life I have lived in a small city in Massachusetts (with the exception of the last three years spent in college in Delaware). My high school pretty much had every kind of person, from every country and background but there were hardly any Jewish people there. What’s more, I was literally the only person who was “observant” in the practice of Judaism. For example my family keeps Kosher, doesn’t ride in a car in Shabbat, and goes to services on more than just the High Holidays – including all the other holidays which I stayed out of school for every year. I’ll explain what all of these things mean in later posts but to sum it up, as far as high school goes, among 4,250 diverse high school kids, I was weird. I couldn’t buy school lunch or go to the mall on Saturday afternoon – who’d think those were such things to miss but they were things that I could never do for the first 18 years of my life. And things that I had to make up my own mind about continuing to practice when I came to college.